Complicated

I wrote most of this a little bit back so the time frame is off, but the tales are true...


Sometimes I'm so busy doing life that I don't really stop to process it. I don't even realize the meaning of the words I hear throughout the day or the meaning of the stories I'm told. I don't take in the faces in front of me or allow myself to see through the eyes looking into mine. I forget to really listen, to allow my eyes to be opened, my heart to break, and my hands to move.

It is often later, when the voices are silent and the faces are gone, that I begin to process the stories, understand the lives and question the realities.

In the last week, I have met a baby abandoned by his teenage mother because of physical deformities. I have held a one year old that weighs just over eight pounds. I have seen the HIV positive mom of a formula program baby struggle to get to her feet to take her daughter home. I have tried and failed to get one of our reunited kids to smile for me when she came back to visit. I have used NG tubes to feed our malnourished new babies. I have had a young mother offer us her unborn child because she doesn't feel she can care for all of her children. I have seen a four month old baby whose mother is too mentally unstable to care for her and whose family is struggling to provide. I have had the mom of a reunited child ask us to take him back.

These are complicated stories, challenging lives and sometimes harsh realities.

We must struggle to make the best decisions for these precious babies. For these people who are not just words, faces or strangers. For these people whose stories are real. For these people who are looking for hope. It is not easy, nor should it be, to make this decision that will directly impact someone else's future.

It is easy to judge, to rationalize and to justify. To not help and then to let them slip your mind. To help, but to see only the problem, not see the person. To wish the issues were easier or the answers were more obvious.

But then I realize, Jesus did not come for the healthy, but for the sick. He came for the broken and the needy. He came for those who are falling apart and are desperate. I know that this is me and all of us. It is every single person that I saw and talked to this week. If the issues were easier or the answers more obvious, we would not be here. There would be no need. It is the sick, the broken, the needy, the falling apart and desperate people that we are called to serve. Not through our own strength, ability or resources, but through the One who knows every intimate, complicated detail and is able to use it all for his glory.

I am thankful that God is trusting us enough to be his hands and feet as we seek to better hear, see and understand the people who come through our gate each week. My prayer is that, no matter what, we will reflect the true solution to their needs and will glorify God in our thoughts, decisions and actions.